It’s not fair !
It’s not fair that you were taken so soon
It’s not fair that we didn’t get to say I do
It’s not fair that I won’t ever be called your wife
It’s not fair that we won’t be able to grow old together
It’s not fair that all our plans won’t be
It’s not fair that we don’t have a tomorrow
It’s not fair
I wake up in the morning and start all over
Hit with reality and trying to embrace it
My honey was taken too soon
Then the self talk comes to play
Like a broken record
“He is with God.. I will see my honey again”
As the tears roll down my cheek
I wipe my tears off my face as I force an ‘I’m fine’ look
Hummmm, what is an ‘I’m fine look?’
I paint a smile on my face… my makeup is all made up and
My hair is fixed
I put on a nice outfit
And I can’t forget my heels.
Okay .. I am set…Let’s do this.. “ I can do this”.
Let’s do this
And then …..
How are you ?
“I am fine”
Inside, I am about to explode and then the ‘self talk’ comes into play once again. Like it’s my best friend.
Heaviness just floods my heart
It’s hard to breath… all along .. I am doing that ‘self talk’
Take a Deep breath…
Okay, you will be fine.. I will see my honey again
Wipe your tears
But, it’s not fair
I was suppose to marry my honey
We loved each other so much…
It’s not suppose to be like this…
Breath…. just breath
How can I live without you
God give me the strength ..
I look in the mirror… Okay , do I look like I was crying
I can’t have anyone see that I’m crying
Let’s do this
I just have to get through the day…
But wait then there’s the evening.. and then bedtime…
Only to wake up to
‘I’m fine ‘
to play it out over and over each new day …