Come Back

Grief 1 Minute

Come back…

I just saw a red cardinal and prior to that a beautiful bird that stopped and peeked around the limb to look at me…

I ran yesterday, and as I was running a beautiful red ( very bright cardinal ) flew by me and stopped. I stopped and attempted to capture a picture…But was unsuccessful .

Today, I am sitting outside with  Kyle and Molly and just reading up on ways to help me get out of the “ victim role” … Ways to help empower me. ..

I find myself, needing a group that will inspire me to the fullest… to be the woman that my honey fell in love with… I find myself lost and can’t find her at times.

As I sit here under my patio umbrella,

I got those two visitors… ( a super bright red cardinal and another pretty bird).

I truly believe those are spirits visiting me.

One is my honey Dale

and the other could be

  • My Aunt
  • My Father
  • My Maternal GM
  • My Maternal GF
  • My Paternal GM
  • My Paternal GF
  • My Uncle
  • My Cousin

I tried to capture a picture but was not fast enough

I began crying .. I am now emotional

And in my head I kept saying. “ Come back’. “ Come back”

Then without thinking it took me to that scene in the movie Titantic where Rose calls out “Come back”

Now, that I think about it …

Come back.…a metaphor

— Come back means I want Dale to come back as if he never did die.. as he never left me

–Come Back means — I want to feel empowered again. I want to be at peace again.. I want to use this journey to help to inspire others

–Come Back means — I want a spiritual visits from that red cardinal I now call Dale ..

Why did you leave..

© 2018 Liz Ann Crockett

Published by grievenhope

I would like to give you a little back ground history of how I ended up here... I am 51 years old, a Nurse Practitioner, a mother of three awesome young men. I have had two failed attempts in marriage and finally found 'unconditional love' . I fell in love with my friend of 16 years... I never realized that 'my love' was right in front of me all this time . He had been divorced for 5 years and it wasn't until his divorce and mine that we realized we were each others soul mates. Dale, was one of a kind.. he was respectful towards me and so loving and most importantly a God fearing man. We became boyfriend and girlfriend and then we soon became engaged. He asked me to marry him in front of the Seattle city lights. It was so romantic.. the lights gleaming on the lake as we stood at Gas Works Park right in front of Lake Union . So fast forward.. July 27, 2017 was my honey's birthday- he turned 52! A very healthy person who ran most of his life. I asked him what he wanted to do on his birthday and he had asked if we could go see wedding venues. So we saw three different wedding venues . Later , that evening my heart broke... he had a sudden heart attack and died . I have been through a long unwanted journey and it seems everyday is a day I spend grieving with HOPE! I created this blog to share my story in hopes that maybe one day my grief and despair / journey will help at least one person ...

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One thought on “Come Back”

  1. I will never stop missing him but I must pursue God at all costs and stay close to his truth. Anything that does not line up with the Word I must discard. Only the truth can set me free and only God can heal the pain.
    Much love, “Mom”

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